emma louise

it’s taken a while for me to feel like this

many years of stress, tears and heartache

but as I approach my birthday

celebrating another year of my journey

I can finally say, for what it’s worth

when I stop and look around

at what I’ve achieved, and everything I’ve been through

I think I have reached a good place

a chapter of my life where I am starting to see

that everything I wanted

everything I am working towards

slowly but surely

it is happening

I am finally living the life I have been trying to make

only when I stop and evaluate

truly reflecting on where I’m at

I am proud

I am fulfilled

and I am happy

As I’m getting older I’m starting to realise

Everything I thought would be

Isn’t always the case

When you’re young you take for granted

The busy rooms

The flashing lights

And all the things that are exciting about the thought of getting older

But now I’m here

When I’m alone I realise

Non of it was real

The idea of adulthood which seemed so much better than the reality

It was all a dream

And I’m the Dorothy who was naive

I’ve seen a lot in my 25 years

Thousands of laughs and millions of tears

Some things that I never believed would happen have truly stolen a part of me

A part of me which I will never retrieve

People are delicate and so am I

Feelings are real and we can’t forget that

Some say I’m wise while still being young

Truth is I don’t feel I am either of them

In some ways I feel aged and not who I was

I still don’t truly understand who I am

In a way I don’t think that will ever change

And that comforts me

To know that despite it all there is something that is ever changing

But it’s a lot

To carry this all with me through every turn of the sun, it’s scary

I still look both ways when I cross a road

I still hold hands with the people I trust

But I’m supposed to feel safe now

I’m supposed to trust

That the person I’m becoming is just enough